THE BLACK HOLE
At 9:30 I was still at work. I was all alone doing a night shift. Suddenly the printer stopped working so I kicked it hard with my foot .I kicked it so hard, it worked but then a black hole appeared from the side of the broken printer. Then I carefully put my cup down and it suddenly fell through the hole. So I just double checked if any one was around and I put the hole against the vending machine and got a snickers bar. I sneaked up to the safe and took the money I popped my head through to see if there was any money left and fell in the safe and the black hole fell off I was stuck and scared encase my boss found me .
By Luey Murray
The Black Hole
I was working late at my job. Then a noise came from the printer. It was rumbling so I kicked it .Then a black hole came out. I went to get a drink of water and put it on the black hole and my drink straight through.
So I sneakily walked towards the vending machine. I took the first chocolate bar I could get. It was snickers. Then I saw a safe. Should I or shouldn’t I take the money? I did it. Then I was stuck in the safe. What should I do?
By Jayden Joyce
THE BLACK HOLE
I was so tired and the printer was not working so I kicked it. Then a hole came out. I thought it was just a black hole. Suddenly I placed my cup on it and it slipped through the black hole. I was startled. I sneakily placed the black hole on the vending machine and grabbed the first chocolate bar I could get. It was a Mars bar. Then I saw a safe. Should I or shouldn’t I steal the hidden treasures?
I opened the safe with the black hole and took all the money.
Then I got locked in and I couldn’t get out again. I never want use the black hole again.
By Katie Mellowes.
star:for tring your best
ReplyDeleterocket:you could have done more
ROCKET:NEED MORE ADJECTIVES
Luey
ReplyDeletestar:Good sentence openers like (suddnly)
star:Good verbs like (poped)
rocket: Use more fellings